Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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