I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
