so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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