i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
