No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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