There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
