Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
