he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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