And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
