Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
