Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize