I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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