Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
