babies were throwing up all over the place
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
