Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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