Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
