Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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