maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
These tits shall not be calmed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
