im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
