Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
