one two three fourrrrnication!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
