sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
