Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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