He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
