who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
