I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
someone owes me an orgasm
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
