Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
