Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Wuzzgoof hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

Fav 4 1690 810
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i feel rough

(617): View more from Massachusetts

just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.

Fav 24 1142 2178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

(970): View more from Colorado

did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

Fav 7 5824 928
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

Fav 17 5459 1717
share tweet
(807): View more from Ontario

I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

Fav 18 7578 1603
share tweet
(555): View more from

Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.

Fav 21 6152 1317
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born

Fav 2 3556 1218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

She went to her drug test stoned.

(636): View more from Missouri

And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

Fav 5 1030 615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.

Fav 0 79 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT