god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
