the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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