just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
