If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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