I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
