Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
