We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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