Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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