i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
