no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
