Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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