She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize