I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
