spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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