genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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