It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
