your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
