I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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