so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
