On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
