I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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