a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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