What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
