Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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