The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
