have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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