WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
