Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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