All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize