If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
