It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
