There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
