New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
