Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
