It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
