I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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