I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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