yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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